


My Heart (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

by Underscore3lla



Category: Bucky Barnes - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2019-12-25 16:27:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18265073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Underscore3lla/pseuds/Underscore3lla
Summary: This heart, it beats for only you, my heart is yours ♥……………………………………Bucky and reader have a past. They once dated, but when the reader called it off Bucky has been nothing but a jerk to her. He would do anything to make her suffer like she did to him. But would Bucky and the reader be able to control their feelings that they still have for one another?





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You see Bucky for the first time in two years since your break up and it doesn't go so well

You never thought that you would see him again but you did. Being Tony's best friend, you always had to come to one of his over the top parties. You sat at the bar drinking a beer that Natasha gave you. You weren't one of those girls that ordered girly drinks, when you wanted something strong to drown out your sorrow you wanted it. And boy after 5 beers it was hitting you hard.

"I think you've had enough (Y/N)." Nat stated with concern lacing her voice.

"One more." You whined, drowning the one you had in your hand. You placed the empty beer bottle on the granite and asked Nat for another.

"No (Y/N) you've had enough. I'm cutting you off." You sighed when Nat gave you a stern look, knowing that when she meant it she really meant it. Before you could protest someone came up from behind you.

"(Y/N) You came!" Tony beamed, hugging you from behind. When you arrived he was busy chatting with people so you didn't want to bother him so you walked to the bar. 

You turned around in your seat fully to give Tony a hug. You both have been friends for a while before his parents died your dad knew his dad and even though you were barely in your first year of high school and Tony was in his last year of college, you both still had a deep connection when you guys meet and it was cool telling your friends that you had an older friend who was in college. The only person Tony had left when his parents died was you. You were there for him and comforted him when he felt down and when he needed someone to cry too.

He was sad once you left for college but promised him you'd visit every time you'd come back to see your father. You two were inseparable, even after he got with Pepper you two would always found time to spend with each other. He was like a big brother you never had and you were the little sister he never had.

"Well I technically have no choice. You always get mad when I say no." You stated, breaking away from the hug. 

"Yeah, that's true. You know me so well." Tony said happily, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye. You rolled your eyes at his sarcasm. 

"I know. I practically know you better than you know yourself Tony and you know it." You claimed, returning back to try and get Nat to give you another beer. She looked at you and mouthed no. You literally thought you were going to scream. 

"Nat PLEASE!!!" You were literally begging at this point. 

"Nat give (Y/N) another beer. It's a party were supposed to have some fun." Tony said, picking up his drink from the counter. "(Y/N) are you gonna spend the night. Your old room is still available." Tony informed you.

"I don't know. I'll think about it." You assured him. Oh yes, you used to live in the tower. A few years after you finished college, Tony afford a place for you to stay because he didn't want you to be alone and he even gave you a job as his personal assistant since Pepper was full time at the company Tony needed a personal assistant and someone who he can trust other then Pepper and that person was you. Everything was fine until Steve brought a very close friend of his to live in the tower a couple of months after you moved in.

About a year ago you moved out. You couldn't live there anymore. You found your own place - with the help of Tony, he afford and of course he wouldn't take no for an answer-  you were still Tony's assistant but you worked from home and if you needed to talk with him you meet at a coffee shop and would spend the whole day there with him trying to get things done. 

Tony nodded and gave you a kiss on the forehead and went back to mingling with others. Nat gave you another beer and you thanked her a million times. 

You were enjoying you beer when you heard a familiar voice behind you. You knew that if you came you would come face to face with him at some point throughout the night. There was no way to avoid him. Nat noticed you uneasiness.

"Hey (Y/N) why don't you head home. It's getting late anyways." Nat suggested. She knew your past with the ex assassin. Who didn't. Everyone in the whole tower knew that the two of you were together/ had a fling at some point and how it didn't end well.

You turned to see where he was, you saw him leaning against a wall talking to a tall brunette with tanned olive skin.

"He met her at one of the last parties that Tony threw." Nat mentioned, cleaning a glass. You just nodded. You really weren't surprised on how quickly he moved on. You blamed yourself constantly for the past few months after you two broke up. You technically called it off not him. You had your reasons and he could never understand. Ever since then he has not talked to you for a single thing, he doesn't even make eye contact with you wherever you visited the tower.

Tony hated to see you heart broken but he respected your decisions and didn't nag you about what happened between you and Bucky or why you did what you did. You sighed and turned back before he even had the chance to look up at your direction. Being an ex assassin he knew when someone was looking at him and you didn't want to be caught up in an awkward moment. 

You drowned you 6th beer and wanted something stronger to calm your uneasiness.

"Nat give me something else pl-" You paused. "Nah where's Thor and his strong liquor that he always carries." You said, looking around for Thor.

"He left for Asgard this morning." Nat informed you going to pour you some vodka. She handed it to you and you drank it in one gulp. You were about to ask her for another pour when you heard his voice coming your way. You rolled your eyes reaching behind the bar counter and took the vodka from Nat and drank directly from the bottle. 

"Hey Natasha a beer and" he look towards his 'date' asking what she wanted. "I'll have a margarita please." Bucky's date said, ordering her drink herself. You rolled your eyes once more trying to drown out her whiny, high pitch voice. You took a swing for the bottle and winced as the liquor burned down your throat. 

"You probably shouldn't be drinking that much (Y/L/N)." Bucky said, taking a sip of his beer. Your heart stops for a second. He was speaking to you. You didn't want him to see how surprised you were at his small action so you put on a straight face and said.

"And you really should mind your own damn business soldier." You shoot back, giving Bucky a glare. Bucky smirked and went back to drinking his beer and to pay attention to his date.

"Can't believe you used to sleep with that." You weren't like the avengers. You didn't have any super powers or skills in hand to hand combat or any experience whatsoever in fighting. But you did know when someone was talking shit about you. You wanted to punch Bucky's bitch in the face. You cleared your throat and took one last swing of the bottle of vodka.

"You know Bucky when I was growing up I always put a leash on my dog when I took him out. Maybe you should do the same with your bitch." You retorted,  getting up to walk away. You saw both Bucky and his date with their mouths open, like a fish out of water. Mostly her more than Bucky. Nat smirked in your direction and shot you a wink, happy that you stood up for yourself.

"Are you going to let her talk to me like that!" You hear the whiny voice shout with surprise. Bucky didn't even acknowledge  what she said, he was still in shock on your choice of words. He has known you long enough to know that you would never talk to someone like that unless they ticked you off. But ever since you two broke up he started noticing your whole demeanor started to change. 

You walked past Bucky and purposely bumped into him, making him come out of his thoughts. He saw you walk away, bottle still in hand heading towards the elevator. Before the metal doors closed you both made eye contact. You sighed. This was not how you wanted your night to go.

~~~~~~

The elevator doors opened and you stepped out, the bottle of vodka long forgotten. You took Tony's offer on staying the night in your old room. You shot him a text before you headed up to let him know you were going to bed. You walked down the all to familiar hallway towards your old room. 

Unlocking the bedroom door you walked in, closing it behind after you turned on the bedroom lights. You look around your room and memories of yours and Bucky passionate and sweaty nights here started flowing back to you. You throw your hand bag on to the made bed and walked to the bathroom. 

You sighed thinking that you probably had no clothes in the dresser. You quickly stripped out of the uncomfortable dress that Nat, Wanda and Pepper had you put on. You quickly stepped into the shower letting the water heat up a little before you stepped in. When you moved out you forgot something in your bathroom so you just used the year old shampoo and conditioner to wash your hair. Once you were done getting cleaned up, you dried yourself and put on the robe that was hanging on the towel rack in the bathroom and walked into the bedroom to see if you might have left any clothes behind in the dresser. 

After a while of looking you found nothing. You landed on your bed with a huff you had no clothes to wear but you did know someone who would let you borrow some clothes. You decided to go see if Steve was in his room. You got up from your bed and walked out closing the bedroom door behind you. You were walking down the hall when you saw someone walking out of Bucky's room. You rolled your eyes not wanting to make eye contact with her. But she stopped you before you could even walk past her. 

"I don't even know what Bucky ever saw in you." You heard her say. She was leaning against the wall outside of Steve's room. "Your clearly not his type and you can't even give him what he wants and needs." She retorted stepping closer to you. You were literally close to punching her in the face.

"Face it honey your worthless." She said giving you a side smirk. You weren't up for any more bullshit from anyone tonight. Yea, of you course you could beat her into a pulp in an instant you just weren't in the mood to do so. 

"Want a bet." You taunted, smirking at her shocked face. You knew you won this round. You pushed her out of the way and walked into Steve's room without even knocking. Besides being close to Tony and Nat you and Steve were close was well. He was there for you when you and Bucky would fight and not speak to each other for a while, Steve would be there to comfort you. 

You didn't mean to slam the door but you did causing Steve to rush out of the bathroom, wearing only a towel that was wrapped around the lower half of his perfect chiseled body. You could see that he just got out of the shower because droplets of water were falling down his shiny wet chest and being soaked up into the towel.

"(Y/N) what are you doing here?" Steve questioned trying to cover his upper body with crossing his arms. You rolled your eyes smiling.

"Oh please it's not like I haven't seen anything before captain." You winked and sat on his bed, pulling the robe a little bit down so it doesn't rise up anymore. "And I'm sorry I didn't mean to bother you or scare you." You started getting up.

"OK then is there anything you need." Steve asked, doing his best not to stare at your chest where the robe was half way opened. 

"Yea can I borrow some clothes. Tony didn't want me driving home tonight cause it was getting late and I might have had to many drinks than I should have." You stated. 

"Yea sure." Steve smiled and walked to his dresser to get you some shorts, boxers, and a shirt. He came back with the clothes and handed then to you. 

"Thanks Steve but I don't need the shorts, even back at home I just sleep in a t- shirt and underwear." You said handing him back the shorts.

"Oh ok." He bashfully looked away because he'd never seen you in such an outfit before, he was getting a little flustered.

"Thanks again Steve." You smiled and hugged him. He hugged you back. You pulled away first and gave him a kiss on the cheek, grabbing the clothes and walking out of his room closing the door behind you. You were walking to your room when you accidentally bumped into a rough but firm chest. You looked up and saw Bucky. His eyes held some short of emotion that you couldn't quite pint point out. He roughly released you making you stumble a little.  

"What the fuck Bucky." You grunted catching your step and steadying yourself. 

"What did you do to Anna?" He growled. You straighten up your posture, trying to move away from him. Bucky stops you in your tracks before you could cross the hallway to your room. "Answer me. What did you do to her." He demanded, gripping your upper arm. 

"She didn't tell you the truth?" You asked doing your best not to look frightened. You were on and off with Bucky for 2 years and you knew when he was angry and pissed off. His grip on you tightened, he was practically forcing you to tell him what happened between you and Anna. What a bitchy name, you thought.

"It's pretty fucking obvious that she's fucken lying Bucky. I just think your being too gullible to know what really happened." You stated. He growled at you once more.

"You know nothing. You don't know a single thing about Anna." He said harshly, inches away from you now and you can see a vein popping in his neck. His furious eyes didn't even make you flinch it just made you stare back at him more.    

"Ha and what the hell would you know about her? Nat told me you two just barely met. She's just probably one of your many whores you bring to sleep with you when you need to stick it into someone." You hissed, getting fucken annoyed by him. He's so close to you that you can feel the heat emanating from his chest to yours. 

"Ha you're one to talk. You just came out of Steve's room, wearing that. Your just like every other girl (Y/N) your nothing special." Bucky retorted.  

You smirked at his comment. "I don't remember you saying that when we were together and I was making you feel good. Remember those days Bucky because I do." You sprawled you fingers over his broad chest. His attention switches from your eyes to your chest looking down. You still haven't fixed the robe and you could see it. You tipped your head to the side, never breaking eye contact with him. His jaw twitches and he blinks repeatedly., his breathing is heavy and his silence speaks for itself. You smirked because you knew you had him. You lightly ran your lips along his neck. You heard Bucky's breath hitch. You pushed him away.

"Stay away from me Bucky and for the record maybe you shouldn't believe everything your little bitch tells you." You stormed away walking past him into your bedroom slamming the door behind you and leaving a very shocked looking Bucky in the hallway.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!!!
> 
> This is my second book and I'm honestly so excited about this one. I have a lot that I want to happen with in this story that's why I can't to take my time on it because I'll also be updating the captain america story as well. I probably won't have an updating schedule i'll just try my best to update both stories every week and maybe if i'm not busy twice a week but I doubt that would happen. 
> 
> Thank you so much to every who has been patient with me. I love you all very much and again thank you hope y'all enjoy my stories.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of info on the reader and Bucky's past

_ 1 year ago _

"I'm sorry Bucky." You whispered not daring to look into his crystal blue eyes that in an instant would make you putty in his hands.

 

"I know." You heard Bucky mumble. Your face twisted into something that made you regret everything that you had just said to him but it was for the best. You really thought it was for the best and you prayed that you weren't making a mistake even though it felt like it. Looking down at your feet you tried stepping closer to him but her backed away. Your heart broke even more then it was.

 

He bitterly laughed. "I just wasn't expecting this." He added not looking into your eyes. You straighten your posture, you looked up at him. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it. He was trying to find the right things to say.

 

"Why did you do it. Why did you disappear. I've been trying to reach you for days and nothing. You just left without a trace." He said slowly trying not to let the tears that were threatening to spill come out. You breathed in some air, your sorry for everything that had happened this past week. But you need to get away from everything. Including him. 

 

Bucky stepped closer to you wanting to do nothing more then to wrap his arms around you and never let you go. "Why did you run away from me doll?" He continued. He reached over and lightly caressed your cheek. This made you look into his eyes. You finally got to get a good look at him. He looked like hell. His hair had grown slightly longer than it was before you left. His stubble looked a little grown out. He had bags under his eyes. You felt so terrible that you had put him through this.   

 

"I didn't run away from you Bucky." You bitterly scoffed, avoiding his gaze once again. You were acting so cold but then so vulnerable. Bucky was really getting frustrated by your moods changing. Why were you acting like that with him. He was really confused.

 

"Why didn't you wait for me so we could talk things through? You didn't have to make me go on this wild goose chase looking for you doll. Why would you make me go through this week of hell?" He was begging for you to answer all the questions that were running through his head.

 

"What do you mean talk things through?" You snapped, pushing him away. "This is my damn life and I owe no explanation to you. I just needed some time to get away and think about some stuff and you make it into a big deal like always." You exploded you just wanted to be alone.

 

"Why are you saying things like that? I know you don't owe me anything but we were together. I just thought that..." 

 

"Bucky just please understand that I need time. We rushed into things too fast. You're a great guy and what we had was special, but it just doesn't need to be in my life right now. I'm sorry." You stated 

 

He had noticed that you used past tense and that made his heart break into two. He felt like he couldn't breath. He couldn't let you slip through his fingers, he need you and you being this distant with him was killing him very slowly. Like a knife growing through your skin. He tried to come closer to your but you stepped away and his stomach sank. 

 

He was losing you. You were the only thing that was keeping him stable for the past year and he loved you very much. He didn't want you to leave.

 

"I don't believe you. Everything you did and said to me was not a lie. I know it wasn't!" Bucky boomed, backing you into the wall and keeping you caged in with both arms on either side of you. Your breath got caught in your throat. Bucky didn't hesitate and he reached for you once again, he cupped both of your cheeks this time and rested his forehead on yours. 

 

"Say you don't love me and i'll leave. I'll never bother you ever again. Say it." Bucky pushed you to say the one thing you couldn't. You were like a fish out of water you kept opening and closing your month trying to find what to say to him. You knew that you hadn't tried to push him away, he felt you body relax bit by bit. He felt you responding to him. He knew he had you. He had hope that he had you back. He could almost touch it. 

 

"Come on, say that you don't love me, baby and i'll leave." He whispered, moving his head to rest in the crook of your neck. You felt uneasy with his breathing on your neck. He knew how to make you putty in his hands. His chest was so close to yours, he could feel your erratic breathing. The room had gone silent.  

 

"Bucky stop.." You whimpered, placing your hands on his chest trying to push him away from you. But you soon feel into him. He felt you grip him. He smiled. There was still hope in getting you back.

 

"Please don't leave me. I need you so much it hurts. I can't let you walk away from me." His mouth moved away from the space of your neck to brush over your lips as he spoke. You were shivering at this point because you didn't want to let him go. 

"I love you and you love me. Please tell me what's wrong and I can fix it or we can work this out together." You felt him shiver slightly. He held onto you so tight he thought if he let go you would disappear. 

"That's the thing Bucky it's always about you never about me." You pushed on his chest again, creating some distance between you two. "You wanna know what the hell is going on? Why I left? It's because I didn't have a life of my own anymore. You were always behind me never allowing me to do anything without you being there." You paused trying to catch your breath. You looked into Bucky's eyes and you only saw hurt in them.

"I can't do it anymore. It's too much." you continued. "I'm sorry Bucky but it's over now please leave." You said nicely motioning towards the door.  

He was staring at you blankly. You saw tears starting to form in his eyes. He tried to hold back the lump in his throat, finally understanding how you truly felt in this 'relationship'. He finally realized what you meant: he had lots of baggage, his never ending changing mood swings, how he had lots of his insecurities and the constant necessity to always be close to you because he was afraid of losing you. 

"You always talk about what you need from me. But what about me Bucky? You never think about me or of what I need." You cried, wiping the tears that were streaming down your face away. You ran you hand over your tear stained face and sighed. You headed towards the door and opened it, motioning with you hand for him to leave. 

 

"Just please listen to me and leave. I need some time to think and breathe and live my life the way I should be doing." You hated yourself. Your a bitch. You've never felt so much pain in your life before. You just wanted to hold him and take back everything you had just told him. But you couldn't. 

 

He pushed you away because he was the one that lost you over the mere fact of who he was. Now how was he going to live without you?

 

"I understand. I should go..." He quickly walked out of your room with you closing the door behind him. He paused for a mere second outside of your door and said clear enough for you to hear. "You're right. You don't have to deal with me anymore, ever again. I can promise you that (Y/N)." With that you heard his footsteps walk away from your door and down the hallway towards his room. You heard his bedroom door slam shut and that made you break. The tears flew down freely down your red cheeks. You had lost him for good. After all that's what you wanted. Right?

~~~~~~

The day you broke Bucky's heart would always play like a broken record in your heart. You were never the same after that night. Your whole world shifted all because you were afraid to admit that you loved him. You were scared that you were falling for the Winter Soldier so instead you ended up breaking his heart before he could break yours.

~~~~~~

You woke up the following morning with a massive headache. Drinking to much last night really came back to bite you in the butt. You slowly got out of bed groaning as you did before with one little movement you made your head started pounding. You walked into the bathroom and looked at yourself in the mirror. You had bags under your eyes from lack of sleep because your thoughts were keeping you up all night and a little through the early morning as well.

 

You washed your face with warm water and cleaned your teeth with toothpaste on your fingers. You dried off and turned off the bathroom light heading out of your room to eat some breakfast. You heard the avengers in the kitchen having breakfast. You lazily dragged yourself into the kitchen to make yourself some coffee. 

"Morning princess...WOW You look terrible." You heard Tony say once you entered the kitchen, wincing because Tony spoke really loud and that made your head hurt even more. 

"Tony shut up. My head hurts." You stated putting both your hands on the side of you head trying to release some of the pressure as you grabbed a cup and poured the steaming coffee into it. 

"I told you were drinking too much." Nat sang, giving you a smirk. "But you didn't listen to me." She finished off saying, getting up to put her plate in the sink. 

"You know instead of bullying me about this maybe y'all should be good friends and help me out with this hangover." You informed them, drinking your coffee and grabbing an ice pack from the fridge. 

"Here kid take this." Tony said handing you a red pill. You took it and quickly swallowed it with the coffee you had made. You made a face when the coffee burned the back of your throat but you quickly got over it. You sat next to Steve at the kitchen table and rested your head on his shoulder, still feeling a little dizzy. Clint came from out of the kitchen with a plate of to many stacked pancakes in his hands and sat it in front of you. 

"You need to eat something kid." He mentioned, handing you the syrup and butter for the freshly made warm pancakes. You heard your stomach growl. You lightly blushed because Steve had heard it and it made him chuckle. You glared at him, still blushing. He smiled and put his hands up in front of him. 

"Sorry (Y/N)." Steve apologized, getting up and placing a kiss on your cheek. You smiled and got to eating your pancakes that Clint made. You moaned at the first bite that you took. 

"These are so good Clint thank you." You said, with a mouth full of pancakes. Clint chuckled because he saw how cute you were. 

"Your welcome sweetheart." Clint said. It got quiet for a minute until Tony broke it.   

"So (Y/N) why you wearing spangles shirt." Tony asked, giving a raised brow. You choked on the mouth full of pancakes that you were chewing in your mouth. Steve saw and quickly handed you a glass of cold water. You chugged it down and thanked him. 

"What the hell Tony." Steve cursed, rubbing your back to sooth your breathing. 

"What! it was just a question." Tony said, trying to defend himself. You recovered slightly and looked at Tony.

"I just needed some clothes last night to sleep in that's all." You firmly stated, trying to avoid the eyes looking at you. 

"Bucky wasn't all to happy huh?" Nat smirked, turning to look at you. Your eyes got big like saucers. You looked at her and she rolled her eyes playfully.

"(Y/N) there's security cameras all over the tower." She stated. You looked at her in shock. "Hey don't look at me Tony was the one who looked at them first he just ended up telling the rest of use after he did." Nat clarified, going to take a seat next to Clint. You looked at Tony and glared at him. Boy if looks could kill Tony would have been dead years ago for always screwing with you. 

"Ok... I only wanted to know if you got to your room safety because Nat said you drank too much. I was just looking out for you kid." Tony explained, putting his hands up in defense. 

"But yet you shouldn't be snooping around in others privacy Tony." You yelled.

"I know and I'm sorry but if Barnes pulls any more of that shit like what he did last night my Iron first is going to collide with his face." Tony started getting up and giving you a kiss on your head. You only nodded your head and went back to eating but soon got tired and pushed the plate away, not feeling hungry anymore. 

You calmly stirred your now cold coffee with a blank expression thinking about last night on your encounter with Bucky. Steve lightly rubbed your back , sensing that your were uneasy. You once again rested your head on his shoulder and closed your tired eyes. 

Loud and heavy footsteps entering the kitchen made you open them. You looked at the direction where the footsteps were heard and you rolled your eyes, seeing Bucky holding hands with Anna. They walked passed the dining table without saying good morning and your saw everyone else roll their eyes. And surprisingly also did Steve. 

"I think I'm gonna head home guys." You mentioned, getting up and putting your coffee cup and plate in the sink. Bucky and Anna were eating each other face in the corner of the kitchen. You saw and shivered in disgust. On second thought you didn't want to go home just yet. 

"Hey Steve you wanna go to the gym with me." You offered, going up behind him and hugging him, putting your chin on his shoulder. You had your arms around his neck and he held your hands in his. He lightly shrugged and nodded.

"Sure." He accepted your offer. You smiled brightly at him and gave him a kiss on his cheek. Little did you know that Bucky was watching you and Steve. He hated after you two broke up how close you starting getting with Steve. He sometimes thought if the whole reason why you broke up with him was because you wanted to be with Steve and not with him. But that wasn't the case you were always friendly to Steve even while you and Bucky 'dated' because he was always there for you when you and Bucky got in fights. Steve always lend a shoulder to cry on. Even if along the way Steve did develop feelings for you. 

Bucky got pissed and dragged Anna out of the kitchen in a hurry. You saw and also did Steve you both looked at each confused wondering what made him leave in a hurry. You patted Steve's back and told him you where going to change. You didn't have any clothes so you were just gonna get some shorts from his room and wear your bra from last night. 

Walking down the hallway into Steve's room you grabbed the door knob and opened the door, grabbing some sport shorts and walking out, closing the door behind you. Walking back to your room you pulled Steve's oversized shirt over your head and threw it on your bed. You quickly changed and headed over to the gym. You were about to walk through the door to the gym but stopped in your tracks when you heard someone mention your name.

You heard Bucky's voice snapping at Steve. "Don't be so blind Steve. She definitely has something up her sleeve. Don't trust her." You heard Bucky say. The way he was speaking sounded like venom dripping from his lips.

"You need to stop Buck, she's not what you think she is. Your just upset and boiling up this anger because she ended it with you." Steve stated firmly. Bucky's eyes change color, they turned darker. He started to breath heavily. 

"Steve your so blind. The way she smiles at you and acts so 'innocent'." Bucky fumed, putting air quotes around the word innocent. 

You heard enough. Bucky is trying to make everyone you love turn their back against you. Your were now angry, part of you wants to rush around the corner and break a few of Bucky's bones. You were hurt, you felt so bad. Ever since you left him you had forgotten about what he thinks of you. You shouldn't even care what he thinks about you. But you did and it hurt. You felt tears begin to spill as you run away. You realized that Bucky had won this round and had managed to deal you a crippling blow in the process. Making you hate him even more. You hated Bucky Barnes. And you were gonna get him back for hurting you even though you told him to stay away from you.

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How you and Bucky first met

_2 years ago_

 

“Nat I don’t want to go.” You whined, throwing your blanket over your head again.

 

“(Y/N) come on it’s Steve’s birthday. He wants everyone to be there.” Natasha stated, going to pull on your blanket again.

 

“NO! Nat leave me alone. I don’t want to be around people especially be at one of Tony’s parties.”

 

“(Y/N) it’s been months since your break up with Derek. You need to get out and stop moping around.”  Nat told you. She was starting to get irritated with you.

 

“Nat besides parties aren’t really my scene.” You turned to lay on your back, with a huff. Nat sat on your right and played with your hair and slightly rolled her eyes at you, “I know that.” She stated. You looked at her and stick your tongue out at her.

 

“Come on, it will be alright fun. Wanda and I will be with you the whole time. Your not going to be alone.” Nat said, begging you to come to the party.

 

You contemplated for a moment with yourself and rolled your eyes. You were gonna reject it. “Fine!” You gave in, realizing that you did need to get out and stop moping over Derek. Nat lightly screamed and clapped her hands.

 

“Yay. Alright get up and hit the shower. I’m gonna pick out something for you to wear.” Nat ordered you. You sighed and did as you were told.

 

~~~~~~

Once out of the shower, you quickly dried yourself and wrapped your towel around your hair and your put your robe on. Walking out of the bathroom, you saw Nat laying out three outfits for you to try on.

 

“I picked three potential outfits for you to wear.” Nat joyfully said, taking a seat on your bed facing you. You walked over to were the outfits were laid out. You looked them over. You looked up at Nat through your lashes not very impressed. This are all outfits that you would never wear but knowing very well that Nat would.

 

“Nat I’m not going to wear any of these. You know these type of outfits are not my style.” You admitted, going into your closet to chose something that was more your style.

 

Sighing Nat rolled her eyes. “(Y/N) you have to step out of your comfort zone. Your not with Derek anymore. He’s not here to bring you done or make you feel insecure about yourself. Just for tonight can the team and I have the old (Y/N) back.” Nat said walking towards you, pulling you out of the closet and counties.

 

“The one who would not give a shit about what others thought of her. Where she would always give sass to those who would tick her off. Please just be yourself again.” Nat stated.

 

You looked at her with watery eyes, then down at your hands. Sighing you looking at a very nice light blue spaghetti strap dress that Tony got you a year ago for your 23 birthday that you never wear because it was special to you.

 

“This dress looks nice.” You admitted, looking up at Nat who was smiling down at you.

 

“Then go try it on.” She yelled, practically pushing you towards the bathroom to change.

 

~~~~~~

In the bathroom, you removed your bathrobe and hung it up on the towel hook hanging on the bathroom door. You took the towel off and shook your hair. You threw the dress on. You looked at yourself in the mirror. You haven’t dress up in awhile because Derek would never let you. He would always make you feel insecure about yourself. You sighed.

 

You brushed your hair out and put it up in a half down half up ponytail. You also brushed your bangs down. Your lightly coated your lashes with black mascara to give some color to your eyes and applied a nude matte lipstick to your lips.

 

You walked out of the bathroom again finding Nat gone. You walked towards your bed and saw a note next a pair of low heel nude pumps. The note read ‘went to my room to change. Met me next to the elevator on my floor in 10 mins - Nat’. You grabbed your phone and tucked it into your bra, not really caring that you were already sweating from how nervous you were. You really hoped that you weren’t going to make a fool of yourself. You quickly put on your shows and sprayed perfume over your body before you locked your room and headed to were Nat was expecting you to be.

 

~~~~~~

 

Walking down the corridor you saw Nat waiting for you by the elevator like she said she would. She saw you coming and whistled.

 

“Damn (Y/N) you dress up nice.” Nat smiled. You felt a light blush coating your cheeks. What you were wearing was truly out of your comfort zone. But it made you happy to see Nat happy.

 

“Well come on everyone is waiting.” Nat said, grabbing your hand leading you inside the elevator. Once inside Nat pushed one out of the many elevator buttons that lead to the lounge area were Steve’s party was at.

 

~~~~~~

 

You both step out of the elevator hand in hand. Before you can even begin walking you are greeted by a way to energetic Wanda. Who is in a very nice blood red dress with medium high gold heels.

 

“You both made it. I vas vondering if you too vere even going to show up.” Wanda said with her heavy accent, that you always found cute. She brought both you and Nat into a big hug.

 

“We were having a little bit of a problem getting missy over here dressed.” Nat explained while pointing towards you. You smiled shyly and shrug your shoulders at Wanda. Both Nat and Wanda playfully rolled their eyes at you.

 

“Well I’m guessing it’s been a long day for all three of us lets have fun.” Wanda happly yelled throwing her arms up in the air. You laughed loving how she was always so cheerful even though she has been through in her life.

 

She lead the way to the bar were you all sat down and ordered three beers. Once having your drinks in hand, you three said cheers and looked around to see who was at the party. Tony always did go overboard with the party’s that he throws. But knowing Steve for the amount of time that you have known him he never liked being the center of attention.

 

“Poor Steve. He’s never the one for center of attention but Tony really knows how to make the caption all flustered.” You sadly commented, looking over at Steve who was standing across the room, looking as red as a tomato, surrounded by a number of beautiful girls.

 

Both Nat and Wanda turned their attention to where you were looking and agreed with you.

“That’s what happens when you let Tony throw a party.” Nat stated, taking a sip from her drink.   

 

You sighed and continued having small talk with the girls. Time had passed and all three of you were on your third beer. Which made you need to go to the restroom. You excused yourself for a minute and headed off to the restroom.

 

Walking out of the party into the somewhat quite corridor gave you a sense of relief. You knew that you just needed some time to get over the break up but it was hard for you because you never really have dated before. So once you met Derek he had this hold on you that made you do whatever he told you to do.

You were glad when you finally had the courage to break up with him and Tony was right there by your side when you did it. You told him not to come but he said ‘I’m coming so I can beat the shit out of that loser.’ and he did. It still makes you laugh to this day remembering how good it felt to finally leave that bastard.

 

Still being in your train of thought walking to the bathroom you accidentally bumped into a wall or what felt like a wall. The small but yet hard impacted made you lose your balance and you knew that you were going to fall. You braced yourself for the fall but it never came. You felt a warm and cold touch go around your slightly exposed waist. You looked up and came face to face with ocean blue eyes. You saw his lips moving but couldn’t hear anything.

 

Is he talking to me? You thought. You lightly shook your head and looked up at him again. That’s when you final could make out what he was saying.

 

“Are you alright? ” He asked. He let go of you and placed you back in a standing position. You blinked a couple of times trying to make sense of what just happened.

 

“Yes I- I'm fin- fine. Thank you.” You replied. The man smirked at you.

 

“You should be more careful doll.” He stated walking by you. When he walked past you, you could spell his amazing cologne. Your gaze followed him until he exited the corridor back into the party. You lost interest of going into the bathroom anymore and followed behind him back into the party.  

 

You walked back to the table were Nat and Wanda were talking to Clint. You sat back down and took a sip from you beer.

 

“Hey (Y/N). You look nice.” Clint said, giving you a side hug. You hugged him back and thanked him.

 

“Where’s Steve?” You asked Clint. He shrugged.

 

“I think he’s looking for his friend. He’s new to the team and is just getting used to all of this.” Clint mentioned. You nodded and took a sip of your drink again. Being lost in thought again about the man you bumped into which made you not see Steve nor the mysterious stranger talking to Nat and Wanada. You felt someone lightly shake your shoulder.

 

“(Y/N)!” Wanda yelled. You jolted from the contact.

 

“Uh - what.” you lightly said coming out of your train of thoughts. Wanda croak her head towards Steve motioning for you to saw hello. You smiled up at Steve and got up to hug him.

 

“Happy birthday, Captain!” You congratulated him pulling him into a hug. “What’s your age again? Two hundred?” You laughed pulling away from the hug. Steve gave you a light chuckle.

 

“Thank you, (Y/N) and no not quite but getting there.” He replied. “I’m really glad you came.” He continued. You smiled. “Your welcome how can I miss Captain America’s birthday.” You said. Steve smiled and that was when you turned your attention to the man behind him.

 

“Oh (Y/N) have you met Bucky?” Steve asked motioning to his friend. You smiled and lightly shook your head. Not wanting to tell him that you had bumped into him a while ago.

 

“No I haven’t.” you reached over and offered your hand to him, which he took in his big and hard but yet soft one. “I’m (Y/N) it’s nice to meet you.” You continued, still smiling. Bucky shook your hand and lightly smirked at you.

 

“It’s nice to meet you too doll.” He said softly. You blushed a little bit from the nickname.

 

“Bucky just started a few weeks back. I’ve been meaning to introduce him to you but I haven’t seen you around.” Steve said. You nodded.

 

“Yeah, I know. I have just been busy. You know how it is being Tony’s personal assistant there’s a lot he has to do and wants done.” You confessed. He smiled at you but the whole time that he was making conversation with you all you could feel and pay attention to was the burning stare of Bucky’s eyes on you from behind his friend’s shoulder, but you couldn’t dare look at him. Until Nat got Bucky’s attention. You thanked god that Nat saved you from that awkward situation.

 

“Hey Barnes.” Nat said with a deadpan voice.

 

“Hey.” Bucky said sternly. From the corner of your eyes, you could see that he doesn’t even move his gaze from you when he answered Nat. Nat and Wanada rolled their eyes and excused themselves. You turned towards them with pleading eyes, begging them to stay and not leave you with the super soldier and his hot friend. Nat and Wanda shrugged and mouth sorry to you and walked away with their beer in hand. You sighed and turned your attention back to Steve but you saw him being dragged away from you by a group of girls. You lightly cursed to yourself and rested you arms on the bar granite.

 

You heard someone cough from behind you making you turn your attention to them. It was Bucky, he didn’t leave with Steve. He motioned to the seat next to you.

 

“May I sit?” He asked. Still in Aw with the man in front of you, you quietly mouth a yes. Bucky pushed the bar stool out and sat down next to you.  

 

“I didn’t know you were Steve’s friend.” You commented, trying to make conversation with him.

 

“I can say the same for you doll.” He said with the same nickname he has been giving you all night. You felt another coat of blush on your cheeks.

 

“So um, how long have you’ve known Steve?” You asked shyly. He lightly chuckled and looked down at his hands before answering you.

 

“All my life.” He paused, looking up at you he licked his dry lips. “But if you want an exact answer 70 years.” He added sternly. You almost choked on your beer. You looked at him with wide surprised eyes.

 

“Ho- How b-but…” You stuttered with confusion.

 

“Let’s just say I had it way worse than Steve while he was in the ice for those 70 years.” Bucky stated. You nodded.

 

“So enough about me, let’s talk about you.” He implied, turning in his chair to better look at you.

 

“There’s nothing much to say about me.” You stated honestly. Bucky huffed.

 

“I doubt that doll. I’m sure there’s a lot about you that most people don’t know.” Bucky protested, pushing you to tell him about yourself. You laughed. This was going to be a long night.

 

“Where should I begin?” You started, taking a moment to think. Bucky smiled and got himself comfort for a long night getting to know more about the girl that has swept him off his feet way to quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone. Yes I updated. I'm really sorry that I've been keeping y'all waiting, I have just been really busy with school and my life in general. But I hope this chapter update makes up for it. I currently writing chapter 4 so stay tuned. thanks so much for the support on this story, I love all the love I'm getting on it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve knows that the reader overhead Bucky and him so he comforts he.

_ Present  _

You weren’t in the mood to talk to anyone. You were gonna make Bucky’s life miserable if it was the last thing you did. How can he be such a jerk to you. What you and him had happened a while ago. He has a ‘girlfriend’ now why would he be worrying what you do and who you hang out with.  _ ‘He should just mind his own damn business.’  _ you said to yourself annoyingly.

 

You needed a beer. Bad. You made your way to the kitchen angrily. Why is the fucking kitchen so far away? You sighed in frustration. You just wanted a beer. Maybe two and after that just wanted to go home and not come out for another year. 

You hoped no one was in the kitchen area. You wanted to be alone. All what you could think about was what Bucky was telling Steve. _ "Don't be so blind Steve. She definitely has something up her sleeve. Don't trust her."  _ It just made you feel less wanted. The same weight that you felt when you had build up the same wall you built once you broke up with Derek came crumbling down when Bucky came into your life. Then it came back up when you two 'broke up’. The weight over your heart was bringing out emotions and feelings you thought you had thrown away long ago. 

 

You should have never had come yesterday. But you knew damn well that If Steve was going to be at the party, Bucky would tag along. Both of the super soldiers were inseparable. You spent a whole year of your life running away, one year of trying to forget the man that made you weak in the knees. Running away from the man that knew how to make you fall under his control. Running away from the man that you lo- 

 

“(Y/N)” You heard your name being called down the corridor, which made you come out of your own thoughts. You spun around and found Steve sprinting towards you. He came up to you and released a huff. 

 

“I thought we were gonna meet in the gym?” Steve said confused. You sighed, leaning your body against a nearby wall

 

“I think I’m gonna grab a drink and head home Steve, I don’t feel to good.” You lied. You just wanted an excuse to get out of this building and go home. Steve looked at you with sad but yet understanding eyes. 

 

“I understand (Y/N). Are you alright? Do you want me to take you home. Or should I take you with Bruce to have you checked out.” Steve babbled, wanting you to be okay. You lightly shook your head. 

 

“Thank you Steve for worrying but i’m fine. I just want to lay down, my head still hurts from last night that’s all.” You said. This time you weren’t lying your head was still bounding a little from your hangover. 

 

Steve put his hand on your shoulder and pulled you into a hug. He lightly whispered in your ear. “I know you overheard me and Bucky talking in the gym.” Steve mumbled into your hair. That was enough to make you have a breakdown and cry onto the super soldiers shoulder. You cried and Steve held you. 

 

“I did what I had to do Steve. I had to break up with him. I didn’t want him to see how fucked up my life is. I didn’t want him to see past the barriers.” You confessed, sobbing on Steve’s shoulder. He lightly rubbed your back and kept whispering sweet things into your ear. 

 

“Shh it’s ok…it’s ok (Y/N). You did what you had to do. Bucky just needs to see that.” Steve said. You looked Steve in the eyes and shook your head. 

 

“Steve only you, Tony, Nat and Wanda know about my past, if Bucky found out he would surely end my life with no regrets.” You sniffed, wiping your tear stained eyes. Steve nodded his head. 

 

“Promise me Steve. Please promise you won’t tell Bucky.” You begged. 

 

“I just don’t like him talking bad about you. He's my pal and I care for him a lot but it boils something up inside me when he's talking bad about you.” Steve growled through clenched teeth. You were a little in shook on how fast the captains demeanor changed. You soothed him by rubbing your hands up and down his arms. 

 

“Steve just ignore it, but promise me you won’t tell him anything.” You repeat yourself. You knew Steve had a kind heart and he would never do anything to make you upset. But you just had to make sure. 

 

“I promise sweetheart.” Steve sighed, he cupped your blush felled cheeks and slightly swept his thumbs over them, wiping away any tears that were still glistening your cheeks. You smiled up at him. You knew that he would always be there for you. 

 

Steve lend down and gave your forehead a lightly peak. He lets you go to only just grab your hand and lead you down the corridor that lead to the elevator to take you to the garage where your car was parked. 

 

~~~~~~

 

Once the elevator stopped at the garage Steve walked you to your car that was parked right next to his motorcycle. 

 

“You sure your okay to drive?” Steve asked, worried that you were still a little hungover from last night. You chuckled and opened your car door.

 

“Steve i’ve been friends with Tony for half of my life. Don’t you think he has taught me a thing or two about driving with a hangover.” You mentioned, making Steve chuckle as well. 

 

“Be safe ok. I’ll stop by later this afternoon to drop of your clothes from last night.” Steve added, closing your door once you got in and started the car. 

 

“Thanks.” You said. You both said your good - bye’s before you pulled out of the Avengers tower garage. 

 

Once you where on the street that lead you to your apartment you had this feeling in your gut that something wasn’t right, that something was going to happen. You just didn't think about it anymore and shrugged it off and continued driving. Little did you know that your past was going to come back and bite you in the ass. 

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI I posted. I just want to mention a few things about the comments I have been getting about the reader being selfish and how many off y'all are not liking her. And to just let y'all know she broke UP WITH BUCKY FOR A MOTHER FUCKING REASON!!!. In this chapter it gave y'all a little insight on what's to come and in the next chapter it's gonna explain the readers past and why she had to break up with Bucky. So don't come for me when ya'll don't know what is about to come. I'm just writing a story ok. SO chill out y'all. OK. Bye thanks for reading. <3
> 
> P.S. I know this chapter's short, just work with me y'all I have just been busy and it's taking me a while to post new chapters because I want this story to actually work and be something y'all like. Also I'm thinking about writing a new story once I have a few more chapters up on this one. So let me know if you guys would want a sneak preview on what I have in mind for the new story! OK bye!


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